This is NOT a transcription of the talk. Just my notes for personal use so forgive me if there are mistakes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtjwtmjbOKE&playnext_from=TL&videos=mPwhjdF2zvQ

When you don’t appreciate who Allah is, you replace that with appreciation of yourself. This is the root of the problem.

The ego. On the outside, you look perfect, but on the inside, you want to be the best, you want to exert your dominance. This is KHIBR (arrogance!).

The one who has a mustard seed, an atom, a molecule, of arrogance in their heart, jannah is NOT open to them.

Tips to find out if you have arrogance:

1. If someone corrects you and your first reaction is “who/how/why is this guy correcting me?” Even if he is wrong, your first reaction should not be “wtf.” It should be “maybe there is something true, 2%, 1% or half a percent true, I should look into this.” Take the good, leave the bad.
2. If you feel the need to interject in every conversation, no matter what. If you feel your opinion was ignored and you walk away offended (especially with religion), then you have arrogance. When you do something, it’s for the sake of Allah. Give your opinion for HIS sake, not to serve yourself. You ALREADY GAVE it for Allah’s sake, it’s already been counted in your favor! Whether the people take it or not, you already earned your credit.

The first problem is that the heart becomes egotistical. The second problem is that the heart becomes hard.

You haven’t cried in salah a long time. When you hear something, you think “I already knew this.” When you listen to salah, you critique the recitation of the imam. You have good tajweed, but a hard heart.

Do the words of Allah not shake you?

In public, you look devoted. In private, this evil, unknown person comes out. They turn into someone else when they are by themselves. Someone you won’t even recognize. No one can fix that for you because no one knows this even exists.

These are both spiritual, problems of the heart.

In Surah Hadid: Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient.

Meaning: You are first excited about religion, but then it becomes routine. It’s not something that moves your heart anymore. Once the heart is hardened, it’s easy to become corrupt. This discussion is about those that claim to believe and their hearts becomes hard.

If you feel like you’re in a hopeless stage where you feel like your heart has become hard, think about where YOU came from, how far Allah swt brought you from where you used to be.

The root problem of any debate is ego.

What is the remedy for this?

Allah swt says in the next ayah in surah Hadid: Know that Allah gives life to the earth after its lifelessness. We have made clear to you the signs; perhaps you will understand.

Allah is saying if He can give life to a dead Earth, there is still hope for you to get your heart cleansed. It IS possible.

Remedies:

1. SINCERE dhikr. If you say your dhikr after salah, but it’s thoughtless, then it’s not dhikr, it’s review. Allah should be thanked and He should be praised for EVERYTHING.
2. Learn to serve people FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH. Don’t get burned out. When you get burned out, you can’t recover.

When you do things for the sake of Allah, you won’t get frustrated. It doesn’t matter if there is one person, or a hundred people or no one at an event. If you have the right intention to do something, you already got credit.

Change of attitude, change of intentions. It will help you SO much in life.

Because when you do things, you’ll pass out the fliers, you’ll give out invitations and no one will show up and you’ll go “rawr, no one is listening!” But you won’t get frustrated.  Why are you passing out fliers? Why are you sending out invitations? For Allah’s sake. Where did you put the expectations with?

Your job is the effort, His job is the result. You’re not in charge of the results.

When you internalize that, you won’t get frustrated.

Intentions are not something you make once. Intentions can get rusty. So you have to go back and you have to keep fixing it.

First remedy: Remember Allah.

Second: Find company of those better than yourselves.

1. Learn to keep your mouths shut. If you see something really bad, find a humble way of saying something to a Muslim. Don’t go after behavior. Just remind, and make du’a Allah changes their HEARTS.  “Remind them, reminder will have benefit.” How often did the Prophet saws remind? For YEARS. The first person that benefits from sincere reminder is the one who reminded. When the Prophet gave da’wah, a thought that came to him was maybe he could have done it better. Allah swt told him not to worry about that, just do what you’re supposed to do.

You don’t want people to change their behaviors, you want Allah to change their hearta!

Surah Shurah: “They didn’t disagree until after knowledge came.” – Islamic knowledge. It came out of this urge to dominate the other. People use the knowledge of the deen as a weapon. This is a high crime. Using knowledge to disagree with each other for the sake of their egos.

Ego = worship of the self. This deen is only for those that humble themselves before Allah swt.

Ali Imran. Those who are in a position of leadership: It is by the special favor and mercy of Allah swt that you (saws) are lenient towards them (the sahaba). If you were tough, stiff, stern, rough around the edges, they (the sahaba) would have ran away from you (saws).

It doesn’t say if you didn’t call them to the truth, they would run away. If he (saws) had been HARSH with them, they would have ran away. If this applies to the Prophet (saws), you think this doesn’t reply to us?!?!?

How do you know you are sincere? After they mess up, forgive them lovingly, then ask Allah swt to forgive them sincerely (astaghfirlahum). You ask in PRIVATE. Private du’a is sincere. Then consult them and take their opinion. Allah swt told the Prophet saws to consult the sahaba so that they’d feel dignified, included. This is the characteristic of a leader- making those under him feel dignified. Your decision is not the key to success, ALLAH swt is the key to success.

Research paper? meh. Death is around the corner. And I’m scared shitless.

I found out today that one of my friends from elementary and middle school passed away after a car accident on her way back to College Station.

She was a beautiful girl who always smiled and somehow managed to make other people happy just with her presence. Her facebook memory group has almost 3000 members already, in only a few days. Her community loved her, her friends and family loved her. She has hundreds of comments from all sorts of people on her wall. She really was an amazing person.

At this point, it almost doesn’t even matter she was Catholic. Anyone can look at her as a role model for good character.

What matters right now is that she is dead. She. Is. Dead.

Her soul is gone. She is lying somewhere six feet under the earth in her grave. Her soul will either be tormented or blessed. Allahualam. The Angels will question her and she will be punished or rewarded in the grave according to how she lived her life in the world.

Holy crap.

This is it. She is done. She cannot accumulate any more good deeds. She cannot undo her bad deeds. She cannot accept Islam. She cannot seek forgiveness and turn in repentance to Allah swt. She cannot seek forgiveness from anyone she’s wronged.  She has no children, no one to make du’a for her even if she was a Muslim.

Everyone does not make it into heaven. And no one knows if they are going to make it to heaven until they cross the sirat.

Kullu nafsin dhaaikatul maut.

Yusuf Ali: Every soul shall have a taste of death, in the end to Us shall ye be brought back. [29:57]

SubhanAllah.

Every soul shall taste death. My soul. Your soul. Our parents’ souls. Our child’s soul. Our neighbors’ souls. The President’s soul. The beggar’s soul. Oprah’s soul. Think of the biggest kamina in the world, and his soul will taste death too.

We will all die.

It is simply a matter of when.

I am not prepared for death.

Holy crap.

If I died in a car accident tonight, I’d be screwed.

I wonder how many years I have left. I wonder if it’s even years? Maybe it’s months. Maybe it’s days. Allah swt knows best.

All I know is that I don’t think I’ve ever feared death like this before.

I’ve never had anyone I knew die. My daadi died a few years ago, but I didn’t know her. I met her like twice in my life that I even remember. I knew this girl for 12+ years.

I don’t know what I’m doing here.

I’m wasting time. I’m sleeping more than I need to and hanging out with friends more than I should. I don’t focus enough on school, on family, on my deen, on my prayers, on Allah swt, on the Prophet saws.

I’m really scared.

I’m not an adult. I can’t get married. I can’t be on my own. I can hardly take care of myself. I act like a child.

I seriously seriously seriously need to figure things out.

May Allah swt guide us on the straight path, increase us in our knowledge and taqwa, and may He make our best deeds our last deeds. Ameen.

Allah swt doesn’t take anything away without giving you something better in return, and even though you loved that thing for Allah’s sake, Allah swt may not have loved it for you.

Love the Creator, not the Creation.

May peace and blessings be upon you

Knowledge distinguishes human beings above other creations.

And Allah swt says in the Qur’an, “He [Allah] taught Adam the names of all things, then He showed them to the Angels and said, ‘Tell Me the names of these if you are truthful’. They (angels) said: ‘Glory be to You, we have no knowledge except what you have taught us. Verily, it is You, the All-Knower, the All-Wise.’ He [Allah] said: ‘O Adam! Inform them of their names.’ “  [1: 31-33]

And he, Adam (as), did inform them of their names.

SubhanAllah. To be a creation that has been given certain knowledge above the Angels.

It feels like an Amaanah… a trust. I have been given certain knowledge and certain capabilities to acquire knowledge. I am trusted-no expected- to seek knowledge and use it to my benefit. A responsibility. It is an obligation.

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Acquiring knowledge is compulsory for every man and woman” (At-Tabarani)

“Acquring”.

It’s an active verb. Present progressive.

That means I should be doing it all the time. In the present. Non-stop. Relentlessly.

It means we acquire when we are young, when we are in our prime, and when we reach old age.

Let’s be realistic. We all have our roles. We all can’t be scholars.

But we ALL must seek knowledge. We are all STUDENTS of knowledge- be it secular or Islamic.

Then again… I find all knowledge in some way or form to be Islamic. Is belief in secular knowedge not part of my submission, part of my faith? My knowledge of science, math, english, and history are all important in understanding my purpose.

Can knowledge be inconsequential?

I know I’d find critiques claiming that there is such a thing as useful knowledge and useless knowledge.

To that I’d say, it is beyond me to try to understand why Allah would give us knowledge of inconsequence. Perhaps it is a test from Allah. Our ability to filter the good from the bad and to use it to our benefit is a test. Perhaps everything, even what we deem inconsequential has an importance in the structure of our lives and purpose. Allahu alam.

The more I think and try to know, the more I feel like I know nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Nothing is certain to me except Islam, the Quran and the Sunnah. Nothing is certain except La ilaha illallah, Muhammadur rasulullah. There is no god but Allah and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is the Messenger of Allah.

The ability to know is a mind-boggling concept. Just the fact that I can sit here and type my thoughts is a mind-boggling concept. I’m thinking.

I have been given an intellect, REASON, creativity, and so much more.

Thinking. Evaluating. Analyzing. Critiquing.

Reading. Listening. Watching.

Doing. Teaching.

Knowing.

We can do all of these things! We can do things other creations can’t! We can make decisions and choose. We can think. It’s amazing realizing the potential of the human mind.

There is so much I want to know!!!

I want to know Arabic. I want to know the Quran. I want to know history! The history of Islam, the history of empires, the history of cultures. I want to KNOW what is going on on the other side of the world and not just think I know. I want to understand Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Palestine, Sudan, Indonesia, Thailand, India, Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, the Koreas, Russia, and Afghanistan. How does the financial system in the U.S. REALLY work? How does the Islamic finance system work? What exactly IS sufism? Who were all the great female scholars of the past? How do watches work? WHY do the Chinese have no alphabet?!?

Man, I can’t even list everything I want to know. I’d have to spend the rest of the semester typing this list out.

So much information out there for us to seek! It’s waiting to be sought. That is the purpose of information- to be learned, applied and transmitted.

I ALWAYS think of  this story, and how no matter how long my life is, I will still die with the knowledge of hardly anything.

Al Khidr and Musa (as) were on a boat and a bird came to the surface of the sea, opened it mouth and swallowed a bit of water.

Al Khidr said to Musa (as) “did you see how that bird drank that drop from the sea?”

Musa (as) replied with an affirmation.

And Al Khidr said “The drop of water that the bird drank from the sea is equivalent to the knowledge of BOTH you and me in comparison to the sea of knowledge of Allah (swt).”

Musa (as) and Al Khidr were the two wisest men of their time, and yet THEIR knowledge in comparison to the knowledge of Allah was absolutely insignificant.

I’ve accepted that there is very little that I will know in this world. But on the Day of Judgment, I want to be able to stand in front of Allah (swt) and tell Him that I tried.

The Prophet (saws) would make a du’a in the morning. When the Prophet, peace be upon him, woke he would say, “There is no god but You, glory be to You. O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness of my sins, and ask for Your mercy. O Allah, increase me in knowledge and let not my heart deviate after You have guided me on the right path. Grant me mercy from You, for You are the Grantor of bounties without measure.”

May Allah (swt)  forgive our sins, increase us in beneficial knowledge and provide us sufficient provisions.

And may the peace and blessings of God be upon you.

P.S. I am officially back =)

A friend told me this narration last night:

When Abu Bakr as-Siddiq (RA) was Khalifah, he was once working on a document by candle light. Someone came to him to ask him a question. Abu Bakr (RA) blew out his candle, took out another one and lit that one up. He asked the person what their question was and the person instead asked him why he lit a different candle. Abu Bakr (RA) replied by saying that the candle he had previously lit belonged to the Ummah.

SubhanAllah.

Abu Bakr, one of the ten guaranteed Jannah, didn’t want to be held accountable  on the Day of Judgement for something as trivial as using a candle for personal use.

Accountability

What does that even mean?

It means I will have to answer for every comment I leave on facebook.

I will have to answer for every late night gtalk/aim/facechat conversation.

Every movie, every song, every television show, every book… everything, I will have to answer for it on Yaum al-Qiyyamah.

Every piece of advice I give to someone.

Every decision through a leadership position.

Every action I make.

That’s a lot of stuff to have to answer for one day.

In all honesty, I think I lost sight of that.

Reading that narration and thinking about what it meant, it sent chills down through out my body.

Philosophy is unbearably unbearable.

It’s ridonculous, that’s what it is.

But before I go on, let me give you a background of what exactly I’m dealing with here.

I’m in Plan II Honors [insert lame Plan II joke here] at UT. It’s an interdisciplinary liberal arts, writing component degree, which focuses on classical renaissance education with a modern twist. It’s basically the most useless degree in the world unless you’re double/triple majoring or intending on further education, i.e., med school, law school, grad school, business etc…

Basically, my degree teaches me how to write B.S. pretty darn well.

My Plan II peers for the most part, do not share this sentiment. They think Plan II is the greatest degree in the world.

We’re talking about the private prep school kids who all have trust funds and ‘speak’ Latin (but honestly, how do you speak a dead language), carrying $600 purses, who listen to ONLY indie music, because anything else is unintellectual and meaningless. They stand on their ivory towers, with their loaded words, championing for world peace and equality, when they don’t know it’d mean giving up their $600 purses.

I know, my criticism is harsh. Clearly, ALL of them are not pretentious punks. Some of them are cool and aight, but most are intolerable. Basically, everyone else at UT hates Plan II kids, and I do too. Call me a conformist.

All of that being said, you can only imagine now how torturous it is to sit in a class full of them discussing the arrogant man’s past time, every Tuesday and Thursday from 9:30 am to 11 am, with a discussion on Wednesdays from 9 am to 10 am. I hope this falls under the “expiation of sins through punishment in this world” category.

For all of you souls out there who share my conviction about philosophy, I have compiled a guide to get us through the year (YES! how unfortunate for me, for Plan II makes me take not one, but TWO semesters of philosophy!).

Note Bene: All of my tips will work better if you are a bearded fellow or a hijabi.

(You see how I used Latin there, when I could have just said ‘note well’?)

With out further ado…

_______________________________________________________________

How To: Offend Your Entire Philosophy Class

A guide to successfully leaving every class period without leaving angry, bitter or soulless. Take it one day at a time.

1. The Set-Up Question.

Philosophy is very discussion based. Your professor will sometimes ask you questions called “Set-up Questions” where s/he asks you a simple question as a set-up for further questioning. What do you do here? You NIP IT IN THE BUD! You do this by giving her a ludicrous, drawn-out, epiphany-mocking answer. Do NOT entertain him/her!

Example:

Professor: What did you have for breakfast today?

Student: What exactly IS breakfast? Is it a meal you eat in the morning? Or is it a meal after a long period of not eating? If it’s a meal you eat in the morning, and I have been eating all night, is it still considered breakfast? And If I fast all day because it’s the Holy month of Ramadan, and then I break my fast at sunset, is my dinner now really breakfast? IS IT?!?! I mean, WHO KNOWS!?! OMG I LOVE PHILOSOPHY!

2. Be Philosophically Blasphemous

True story, I swear it happened. We were in discussion and conversing about what Socrates meant by “An unexamined life is not a life worth living.” The conclusion my brilliant class came up with was that any person who holds contradictory beliefs has not fully examined their life, and by virtue of Socrates, lives an unfulfilled life. The TA’s example was: If you eat meat, but think it’s cruel to eat animals that have inhumanely been killed, then you’re contradicting yourself and should stop eating meat.

Then I said that “On that logic, 80% of shoes are made in sweat shops, so forget about meat, we should all stop wearing shoes. And why do we care what Socrates thinks anyway?”

The whole class just *GASPS*

Wallahi, everyone in the class except my best friend/room mate gasped like I had just made a Holocaust joke.

And then one girl pipes up and says as-a-matter-of-factly, “We CARE because Socrates was a smart man who DIED for his convictions, and that’s noble.”

For everyone you read (Plato, Aristotle, Kant, Mills, Hume, Milton, Nietzsche etc…) ask, “Why do we care what [insert name] thinks anyway?

Philosophical Blasphemy. I didn’t know that existed. LOL. whoops.

3. Partner In Crime

As I mentioned above, my room mate is in my philosophy class. We’re the most odd pair on campus, I’d say. I walk around fully dressed and in a hijab, not styling at ALL. She walks right next to me in her shorts and tank top, totally ‘cute and stylish.’ People stare at us, but I don’t think it’s cuz of the hijab.

Everyone needs a partner in crime.

This way, when one person says something the other one can back that person up so you don’t look like a complete jerk.

4. The Imaginary Friend

Sit in the back of the class. When your teacher says something philosophically profound, usually it’s the climax of any argument, just start giggling/laughing/snickering/coughing/sneezing and then when the whole class turns around to look at you, you turn around too and say “shhhh stop it Bob, or I’m taking you home.”

5. Be One of Them, Only Worse

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, right?

Be one of them, only infinitely worse.

Ask questions that SOUND philosophical and important. Ask a lot of them.

ASK SO MANY OF THEM that your professor digresses and/or the class gets distracted.

6. Sparknotes

Sparknote all of the literature. Don’t bother reading it. Then, when your professor says something regardring the reading, say, “I read that on sparknotes too! Are you BabyLuv6969?”

7. Real Classes

Be a little quieter than usual in discussion. When your TA asks you a question, ask him to repeat it because you were thinking about something else. “I’m taking REAL classes too, you know. Like Organic Chem and Phyiscs… Do philosophers believe in chemistry and physics?”

8. Outlandish Statements

Say things like “I HATE INTOLERANCE!”

or

“A wise philosopher once said, ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions.’ Oh wait.. that was Madonna.”

Be creative, but make it applicable to what you’re actually doing in class.

_______________________________________________________________

Alright, that’s all for now because I have to go study for my Organic chem test. You know… my REAL classes.

I’ll update as I learn more survival tricks.

Take care all

For seriously, this year Ramadan is going by quickly.

AHHHHHH must. resist. music.

SI SE PUEDE!